Higher – faster – further
I wasn’t in optimal condition, maybe only 90% of ideal dimensions. I went to a lot of events where there was excessive eating and drinking. There was always the option of going to events – whether private or work. Gradually this caused me problems because I was sometimes unable to perform well when I was hungover – regardless of the area of life. All this had an extremely negative effect on my body and mind.
The driving force was their own dissatisfaction.
Then came a very important and intense phase of my life. How long it lasted: days, weeks, months, what seemed like years – I can no longer quantify it exactly. This period made me realize that I didn’t want to continue living the life I was leading. I wanted to be “myself”. My own dissatisfaction with my whole lifestyle became more crushing than I had ever experienced before! From one day to the next, I banished from my life everything that was negative in my eyes. My motivation was frightening and ruthless at the same time. Before work, whether it was windy, rainy, cold or hot, I would run 13 miles, sometimes twice a day. Every day after work, I went to the gym (whether it was 8pm or 10pm) and completed a workout. The goals were high. “Getting rid of the last bit of fat” was not enough for me. I wanted a top model body! I wanted to be on top! Anything else would have been suboptimal for me. So I ended up working for fashion brands in Berlin. I was optimizing my life. I optimized my diet, not necessarily with health in mind, but more as a means to an end. I optimized my schedule so that I could fit the “little things” like friends and family into my new life.
I followed this new way of life for several years. During the years of the new lifestyle, many other important areas of my life improved. I improved at work. I felt fitter, fitter and healthier than ever before. And as a positive side effect, I also had noticeably more self-confidence. This was great – I wanted to improve each of these areas even more, and just a little bit more, and just a little bit more …
The stress was overwhelming
Unfortunately, at some point, without me noticing, the line between healthy and unhealthy optimization became blurred. I firmly believe that it is okay to go full throttle in life from time to time. But it’s the dose that makes the poison. And if you constantly want to optimize everything, sooner or later failure will befall you. The constant pressure on myself has gradually had physical and psychological consequences: sleep disturbances, stomach and intestinal problems, sometimes unprecedented insecurity, and eventually severe physical symptoms of stress. It was time to stop and think.
I was no longer “myself”, I was no longer socially acceptable – I had become an individual who did not enjoy life…..
All people are different. What is too little for one person is too much for another. Everyone must find the right path for themselves! That’s why there are no one hundred percent patented cures, but there are certainly recommendations for action.
I started listening to the unmistakable signals of my body and mind. Both had been crying out for a break for a long time, and now I gave them one. I now tailor my training to how I feel – no longer the other way around. On a mental level, I had to question the optimization virus as a meaningful way to live because it was the root of all evil. Once again: the dose makes the poison! I was over-optimizing myself! Now I make sure to find a healthy middle ground. I make sure to take seriously the physical and psychological warning signs and especially the critical feedback. And above all, I am now making sure to focus on what is really important. It’s family! It’s my friends and it’s my health. Here and now I really feel infected with the virus of good optimization! Of course, physical training is still one of my passions – but it’s no longer about “higher, faster, further”.